hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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