hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
