4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just high enough for therapy.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
