I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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