people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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