ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize