So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.