i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
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Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
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I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already