How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Help me help you realize you are a moron