You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
