Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
