The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
