I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
