I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
