i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
did i just pee glitter
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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