Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize