Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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