honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
