I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
