If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
