These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
