If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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