That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
