Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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