She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
