she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
