I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
