put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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