i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
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Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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