just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
