I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
