My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
