this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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