I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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