don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
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