she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
