I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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