sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
