i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
