Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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