Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
