At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
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Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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