mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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