The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
