Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Did I show you my penis last night?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Randomize
