Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
