there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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