she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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