I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I forgot wine drunk hurts
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
