I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
