Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
