She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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