good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
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