you have to choose: penises or morals?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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