Swine flu. Run for my life!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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