I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
