yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
