***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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