I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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