I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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