Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
A+ Viking dick
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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